Definition of a Teacher

On my walk this morning, a definition of "teacher" came to mind.  A teacher is a student loves the process of sharing what she's learned.

I like many things about this definition: it's simplicity, it's power, it's joy, and mostly it's assistance.  It helps me understand that teaching is a spirit, not a destination.  You - me - we will never "know enough."  It gives anyone the ability to step into that role for a moment or a lifetime.  AND, (here's my favorite, favorite part), we are constantly teachers for each other whether we realize it or not!  Since each human experience is unique, there are infinite things to learn from one another.  You become my teacher when you share your experience, I become your teacher when I share mine - regardless of the agreement on either one's part to be the teacher.  Literally, each interaction becomes the classroom.  So, on some level, simply being alive makes one a teacher.  Maybe what I'm referring to is the spirit with which one shares their experiences.  And maybe I'm just talking about people who freely and joyfully partake in sharing with others. 

Transfixed by Vibrato

As I am back in school, now taking the role of voice student instead of just being the coach all the time, I am facing my own technical flaws and weaknesses.  In many respects, my voice has just always worked and done what I wanted it to do.  It "fit" the kind of sound you expect from a jazz singer, and since jazz was the style of music to which my heart was naturally tuned, the equation worked.  Open mouth, sing jazz, all is well.  Until one day I wanted to know more about what made the instrument work and how to teach others to use theirs more efficiently, not just coach them on style and obvious vocal impediments.

Enter graduate school.  And this week, specifically, we learn about vibrato.

I can't say I understand yet what it is exactly, and from what I've read no one can really tell you what is going on when it happens correctly.  I can tell you it's NOT about pulsating the abdomen or other muscles of the respiratory system.  It is also NOT bending the pitch by wagging the jaw or allowing the larynx to bob up and down like an out of control little monkey.  Somehow the phenomenon of vibrato is something that happens when the air flow and pressure are correct, the larynx and muscles of the neck are relaxed, and the body takes over, creating that beautiful undulation that we all can agree is pleasing to the ear.

So, on my quest to discover the true nature of that pure, spinning, free-sounding vibrato, I've been doing a lot of listening - specifically for vibrato.  Linda Ronstadt, K.D. Lang, Barbara Streisand, and Carrie Underwood have been on my player a lot this weekend.  And you know when you listen to music for a very specific detail, then all of the sudden you hear things completely differently?  Well, in listening for vibrato I have been moved to tears, utterly transfixed and amazed over and over again.  Can anyone tell me why?  Why all of the sudden is this detail of singing that seems so completely obvious stopping me in my tracks?  We all know it's there, but how often do we take the time to listen to it and only it?

I want to know more about it.  I feel astounded at how uplifting and emotional it feels when it's done correctly.  And I want more of it in my life and my singing.  Have you ever been so certain about one of your preferences that when that preference changes you are shocked at yourself?  That would be me, right now, in regard to vibrato. 


I feel like I'm in love.

Quiet Life

I always want to start these posts with a question.  Today the question is: what's wrong with having a quiet life?

What IS wrong with having a quiet life?  I used to be afraid of being bored or missing out on something.  But now I'm realizing where the excitement really is . . . right here all the time. 

So, life is more quiet for me now than ever before, and I really like it.  I have extra time to spend alone, which I need and cherish, and all the activity I can handle by being back in school full time.   I hope I don't jinx it by writing these things "out loud," but maybe for the first time in my adult life I'm experiencing some balance.  One of the funny results of this balance is a better knowing of what my voice is doing and how it feels, which takes a surprising amount of sensitivity and attention.  As a jazz singer I just always opened my mouth and sang, paying attention to all aspects of the rhythm and music and hardly any mind to what my voice was telling me.  And lo and behold, to listen to my voice I actually need to shut up and be quiet.  Funny.  I need quiet in order to listen to my voice. You would think it might be the other way around: make more noise so that you can hear yourself. 

Maybe life won't always be this way, and maybe things seem quiet now because I am more still on the inside.  All I know is that the connection to whatever spirit gives rise to my voice only happens in spaces of ease and often solitude.  I don't just like my quiet life, I love it.

Colored By How We Feel

Today I feel better than I did three days ago.  And, guess what, I also had a "better" day.  Today I got to hear amazing singers, learn about vocal function, spend time with new friends, be mentored and be a mentor.  It was a special day.  But, everyday lately has these elements, or at least most of them, and yet I experience each day so very differently.  Emotions, energy in motion in the body, dictate how these experiences are processed and perceived to a degree that actually frightens me sometimes. 

As a performer who feels emotions larger than the typical office worker, it is important to understand how our emotions color our world so that we are not flung far and wide by them.  Emotions are the reason we sing - to give expression to that BIG energy in our bodies and help others resonate to our "energy song."  We need music and the voice to help the world access dormant emotions and energetic experience that the average person cannot tap into unaided.  When we understand that our emotions are not the whole picture, though, we can make better judgements about what might actually be happening around us on a daily basis.

I believe in embracing emotion more than ever, and I also reserve the right to judge my perception of the world not on how my emotions color my view, but on what is true - which is that everything is always ok, that I am always exactly where I should be, and that love is all there really is.  Knowing how to direct emotion, now, there's an entirely different subject matter.  For now, I am grateful for music as a vehicle to get all that energy out.

May you be blessed today and a little better able to see not only through the lens of how you feel, but by what is and will always be true.

Retrieving Joy

Pure joy is available all day, every day.  It is the expression of a constant stream of love that drives everything (EVERYTHING) we know.  So why does it feel so difficult to access sometimes?

The longer I am alive and the more I experience the depth of love, then its opposite (or lack of love), I learn more about its constancy as well as the grief of not being tuned into it.  I am starting to understand that our disconnection from love comes from cultural and familial programming that preaches that disconnection.  And, boy, do we not only pay a hefty price for our programming in emotional, mental and physical suffering, but we usually pay willingly because we've never been taught otherwise.

Make a promise to retrieve joy for yourself.  Bring it up from the depths of your childlike soul with song or praise or a smile.  Let it wash over you.  Tap into its power and let it well up inside you, spilling out across the landscape of your body and out into the world.  Love can never be exhausted and you can never take too much.  Like the song says, "love is all you need."

The Possibility of Openness

I am very fortunate to be part of a faith community that welcomes openness.  I have experienced grace and acceptance for being imperfect, human and open about my feelings.  What I realized yesterday is that even though there may be people in our community who choose to be more private about their inner lives, our community creates a space for openness to happen.  To exercise that choice is almost irrelevant.  The miracle lies in the possibility for safety and love when we are ready to open up. 

I think life offers us this possibility at every moment, really.  I just happened to become aware of it yesterday through the experience of community.  Bottom line: even when our circumstances do not feel safe or loving, we can invite ourselves to consider the possibility of openness.  It’s there.

I have an exercise for you.  Go to your room, or your bathroom, or your practice room, or your basement, or your closet and sit down.  Breathe.  Create a little bit of space around yourself to be safe and honest for a minute.  Relax into the possibility of security . . . and then openness. 

Breathe again. 

Now, breathe again.

I don’t know what you are off to do next, but you have just entertained the possibility of openness by creating a sense of more security in yourself.  I trust that if you are practicing or off to practice, you will feel more able and willing to be where you are – whatever level of playing.

Everyday Victory

My understanding of victory has changed a lot over the past few years.  I used to think victory had most to do with big accomplishments and milestones.  Although accomplishments still fall under the umbrella of victory, they are no longer its only defining moments.

Victory has turned into an every day event, and I have learned that we get to experience as much victory as we can stand.  In fact, I believe it would be possible to experience continuous victory if we so choose . . . why not?

So, victory now has more to do with a feeling, an experience of victory.  It has become the subjective victory of love and affection, as well as the objective accomplishment.  It lives in the mind as much as in the physical world and has an awesome effect on our quality of life.  We get to speak it, feel it and share it.  We get to witness it in others even if they can’t witness it in themselves. 

Allow yourself victory today – and every day.  If you can pick up your horn to play, call it victory.  If you practice with a sense of inspiration or can make it out of bed to practice at all, call it victory.  Make some moment of your experience a victory and then do it again.  You might find that you’ve already accomplished the most incredible victory of your life, and from there, I promise, you’ll “accomplish” more than you ever dreamed.

Noticing Fear: Rejoice!

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands,
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands,
If you're happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it,
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands."

We all know the song.  But could we sing the song cheerfully if we substituted the word fearful for happy?

My theory is that we should be celebrating if we know we are scared.  If we don’t know what we are feeling we can’t embrace the positive aspects of the emotions or guard against their detriments!

Take my friend, for example.  She has been keeping a deep secret about herself from her best friends that she finally found the courage to share.  Not only was this secret causing a great deal of inner distress, but eventually caused emotional damage in her relationships because she had actively lied about it for so long.  She told me that she now realizes her fear around the “issue” was bigger than she first thought.  Strangely, her realization made me feel happy to be able to name fear in my own life.  Weird, I know.  It became clear that even when fear feels horrible, I might consider jumping for joy that I can recognize it – lest it fester away at my insides and cause unnecessary problems in life.

As a musician, you can apply this idea to your performing and practicing.  When you feel ________ (name your emotional drug of choice), you can give it space, embrace it or shove it down to your toes.  It will surface one way or the other.  A jazz teacher once taught that when you feel nervous before a performance consider how much energy is available to you at that moment.  Getting up on stage is not like taking a nap; you don’t want to be a limp noodle!  Fear generates energy you can harness to broadcast your talent to an eager audience. 

In your practice, start to notice when you feel uncomfortable feelings.  They are trying to tell you something, and most likely their messages won’t be as bad as you imagined.  Fear of sounding bad will keep you from learning to sound good.  But, you’ll have to face your fear of sounding bad in order to get past it.

So, if you have fearful feelings, angry feelings, sad feelings, take heart that you are noticing them.  And if at all possible . . . “If you’re fearful and you know it, clap your hands!”

Unique

Think about this: your voice is unique. 

I mean it, take a minute to absorb this statement . . . your voice is unique.

........hhhmmmmmmmmm……….

Like a snowflake or a fingerprint, there will never be another voice just like yours.  Ever.

Last week someone made this point when we were talking “voice stuff,” and something hit me like a ton of bricks.  The voice is more than precious – it’s a miracle!  I had never stopped to put Unique and Voice together consciously.  This changes my process of relating to the voice - profoundly.

Knowing this, I want to care for my voice with more tenderness.  I want to talk about it with integrity and soak up compliments when someone hears its unique qualities.  I want to explore its power and give it proper rest.  I want to use it to express gratitude and empathy and love.  I want to know what it’s capable of, which means doing my vocal exercises religiously.  And more than those things, and more than ever, I want to help other people find their unique voices – however I am capable of doing that today.

Take another moment to breathe it in . . . your voice is unique.



"Unique New York.  Unique New York." -Will Ferrell, Anchorman

The Inner Work

It has recently come to my attention that outward movement, the "doing" of my life, needs attention.  In the past I would have secretly cringed at the suggestion that I wasn't active enough or "doing" enough.  What I've learned in the past two years is that the inner work of self discovery is as important as what we produce in the world, and without attention to our inner landscape we are building on sand.  Or, dare I admit, quicksand as was the case in my own life.

An ancient parable says . . . and let me paraphrase here . . . that a man who builds his house on a solid foundation will not be swept away by rain and wind, but a man who builds his house on sand will be swept away at the first bit of inclement weather.  Oh how true!

One of my students is a great example of building a foundation on solid ground.  She will be graduating from college in May, and moving into the next phase of her life.  Over the past year she has taken a great deal of time figuring out what makes her happy, how she would like her life to look, setting goals for her education, and diligently taking one careful step after another through the process of moving toward these goals.  I don't think she would have been able to do these things without her faith and the grounding she has in her inner self.  She doesn't claim to have all the answers, but she knows who (and where) she is and what kind of person she wants to become.  She inspires the heck out of me! 

We all have to do the inner work.  So, if you feel like you are building on sand, take more time to figure yourself out.  You won't regret the time spent, because the end result - no matter how big your house ends up being in the end - will be of quality.  You will be proud of what you are building, and when the wind blows you will feel fortified from the inside out.  There is nothing in the world that can substitute for awareness of your inner world, absolutely nothing.  Like an education, a house build on solid ground can never be taken away from you or destroyed.

Right or In Relationship

In a recent relationship seminar, I learned that in romantic relationships we are either right or in relationship.  If we can get our awareness around that, it changes the landscape of how we interact, how we care and ultimately our purpose for being in relationship.  It can also be used as a framework for understanding how we relate to ourselves and our voices.

Let's start by breaking down the word relationship.  It is a noun, but not a tangible object.  The noun relationship is a nominalization, or a concept instead of something you can hold in your hands.  If we look at the verb, to relate, then it's easier to talk about changing our concepts of relationship.  Instead of being in relationship with people or things, we are actually in the process of relating to people and things.  This shift in language changes our perspective dramatically.  You and I and everything else are constantly in the process of relating, which, when realized, not only gives us the ability to make better relational choices, but shows us how much responsibility we are willing to take for our part in the game.

How often are you trying to make yourself "right" during the day, or during your music practice?  Yes, let's agree that there is correct pitch, rhythm, technique and interpretation, but on the way to mastering these elements of music, are we coming from the perspective of making ourselves "right," or are we relating to our instrument?  As you are on the way to discovering the master musician within yourself, you get to choose how you relate to the process - moment by moment.  A great deal of effort would be saved on the way to greatness if we choose to relate more positively toward practice, toward ourselves, and toward whatever is happening in the moment.

Take for instance the feeling of frustration during a practice session.  We've all been there, right?  Not only are you practicing music in that moment, but you are also practicing frustration.  Your brain is learning to equate practice with the feeling of frustration - they are becoming synonymous in your neurology, or literally hardwired together in your brain!  Would you really wish that even on your worst enemy?  Then why do we do it to ourselves?  My theory is that we have not taken the time to consider how we are relating to practice, and even more globally how we are relating to life.

You get to be right or you get to be in relationship.  You get to defend yourself and what you know, or you get to discover how you are relating to the profound gift of right now.  Our voices deserve to be related to in love.  When this happens, well . . . watch out world, you ain't heard nothin' yet.

The Point

What’s the point of learning to sing or play an instrument?  Better yet, what’s the point of doing anything? 

These are questions that cross my mind often, and in the last 24 hours the topic keeps popping up in conversations and articles like mad.  The difference in the last day or so is that I feel like I am getting closer to understanding something about it. 

I've started to understand what the point is not.  The point is not achievement.  Check.  The point is not self glorification.  Check.  The point is not money or stuff.  Check.  The point is not approval.  Check.  All these outward things eventually dissolve, so the point is . . . well . . .

This is where you get to figure it out for yourself.  You get to peel back the layers of thought and feeling and intention within yourself to discover your point, or where you are coming from.  So, how are you being while you sing?  Are you full of joy and radiance, or a luke warm attitude?  Are you working to get somewhere, or are you basking in the brilliance that you are right now?  Are you rejecting the sound that’s coming out of your mouth, or are you enjoying that you have a voice?  Are you cranky about your voice, or are you delighted?

Trust me, I struggle with these distinctions daily, and they are very subtle.  These kinds of questions might help us realize that the point of life is not what we do, but how we are.  What arises from our hearts infects and supports everything else in life, including the way we produce sound.  I would stand to argue that a truly free sounding and feeling voice originates in a free heart.

Next time you open your mouth to sing, ask yourself:   What's in my heart?  Why am I singing?  What motivates me to share music?  And whatever answer arises, you can love that too!  We are all on the journey to discovering a "point,” and as we get collectively closer to whatever it is, I imagine our voices will get clearer and more beautiful.  I imagine we will spill over with joy and our voices will radiate glory. To me, that’s the point.

For more inspirational reading today, check out performance coach Jennifer Hamady's article, "Lucky, Lucky Me" in Psychology Today.

What will this voice sound like now?

Today's topic: most likely nothing horrible will happen if we screw up.  It's true.  Even after the most dramatic "mistake" the world continues to turn and love still flows.  I believe everything is redeemable.  This goes for musical mistakes as well as big, huge life mistakes.  Heck, what would anyone learn without them?  And heck again, something is really only a mistake by perception anyway! 

Have you ever heard the story about the man who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived?  He realized on the way down that the only unfixable problem in his life was the decision to jump off the bridge - everything else would have resolved itself. 

When I am in the midst of a perceived mistake, big or small, I often don't remember that life will somehow transform itself.  But, after all is said and done, my voice still sounds.  Always.  Even if it makes noise through a blog or a song, sobs or laughter.  The world continues to turn and love continues to weave its magic.

Then, remembering that no mistake can ever destroy my spirit allows me to try again, sing with more guts and engage in an attitude of curiosity . . . "ok, so what next?"

What will this voice sound like now?

We Are Somewhere in the Middle

There will always be someone better than you at your instrument or voice, and there will always be someone worse than you.  You fall somewhere in the middle of the range.  Always. 

The reason this line of thinking feels so important to me is that it helps me stay grounded in reality and connected to the passion that made me start playing music in the first place.  If each of us can take an honest look at where we are, what we know and don’t know, then we can (collectively) get further away from the suffering created by ego-based thinking that keeps us locked in untruth. 

And, yes, there is always going to be that someone who is the absolute very best at something in the moment.  But, eventually another someone will come along to “break the record” and sail past it like a rocket into the night.  4 minute mile, anyone?

Ok, so back to my original tangent . . . and the reason I wanted to write this article.  Last year one of my students was struggling with executing a piece of music on piano.  Piano was not his primary instrument.  I asked him to play the song for me and within the first few bars it was obvious he just simply didn’t know how to play the piece.  I had just heard a host of reasons why he couldn’t play the piece, and as he struggled over the keyboard I wondered what would happen if he could simply admit that he didn’t know how to play it.  Could he approach playing piano with curiosity and wonder instead of a litany of reasons why he couldn’t do it?  The reality in that moment was that he didn’t know how to play the song.  That was the end of the story line.  He added the belief that he was a poor piano player, which was affecting his progress.  What if the story could become more truthful and in turn more hopeful?  What if, when we lack ability, our thoughts stopped at “I don’t know how to do this YET!”  I propose we would act more like children and dive right on in.  We might even enjoy learning, who knows?

And, yes, like this student there are things we simply cannot do yet.  But it won’t always be that way.  Telling ourselves we are the worst (or the best) at something will always lead us away from the truth.  The truth, once again, is that we are somewhere in the middle.  Always.  And if we can let go of our need to be at the top or bottom, we stand a chance to actually be present with what we are doing and enjoy ourselves while we play.  That joy will eventually lead us to our greatest ability. 

Now, all that said, there are many beliefs that keep us from our having an open, joyful heart when we sing or play.  Realizing we are all in the middle somewhere is just one helpful thought that I use to keep myself in check.  It does not replace the experience required to master a technique or instrument.  It does not excuse us to be lazy or mediocre.  It does not give us passion. Though, it does give us an opportunity to be more loving toward ourselves so that we can realize our true greatness, wherever that falls between the best and worst.

Peace,

Liz

New year, new voice

This January marks the beginning of my 7th year teaching jazz voice.  I decided to start blogging as a way to share some of my experiences as an educator and seeker.  My greatest joy is being a part of the "aha" moments with others, both in the teaching studio and in other areas of life.  Blogging seemed like a natural way to practice writing and communicating with others about their voices.  I hope that you enjoy the articles and decide to share your experiences here also.

I look forward to writing for you.