Transfixed by Vibrato

As I am back in school, now taking the role of voice student instead of just being the coach all the time, I am facing my own technical flaws and weaknesses.  In many respects, my voice has just always worked and done what I wanted it to do.  It "fit" the kind of sound you expect from a jazz singer, and since jazz was the style of music to which my heart was naturally tuned, the equation worked.  Open mouth, sing jazz, all is well.  Until one day I wanted to know more about what made the instrument work and how to teach others to use theirs more efficiently, not just coach them on style and obvious vocal impediments.

Enter graduate school.  And this week, specifically, we learn about vibrato.

I can't say I understand yet what it is exactly, and from what I've read no one can really tell you what is going on when it happens correctly.  I can tell you it's NOT about pulsating the abdomen or other muscles of the respiratory system.  It is also NOT bending the pitch by wagging the jaw or allowing the larynx to bob up and down like an out of control little monkey.  Somehow the phenomenon of vibrato is something that happens when the air flow and pressure are correct, the larynx and muscles of the neck are relaxed, and the body takes over, creating that beautiful undulation that we all can agree is pleasing to the ear.

So, on my quest to discover the true nature of that pure, spinning, free-sounding vibrato, I've been doing a lot of listening - specifically for vibrato.  Linda Ronstadt, K.D. Lang, Barbara Streisand, and Carrie Underwood have been on my player a lot this weekend.  And you know when you listen to music for a very specific detail, then all of the sudden you hear things completely differently?  Well, in listening for vibrato I have been moved to tears, utterly transfixed and amazed over and over again.  Can anyone tell me why?  Why all of the sudden is this detail of singing that seems so completely obvious stopping me in my tracks?  We all know it's there, but how often do we take the time to listen to it and only it?

I want to know more about it.  I feel astounded at how uplifting and emotional it feels when it's done correctly.  And I want more of it in my life and my singing.  Have you ever been so certain about one of your preferences that when that preference changes you are shocked at yourself?  That would be me, right now, in regard to vibrato. 


I feel like I'm in love.

Quiet Life

I always want to start these posts with a question.  Today the question is: what's wrong with having a quiet life?

What IS wrong with having a quiet life?  I used to be afraid of being bored or missing out on something.  But now I'm realizing where the excitement really is . . . right here all the time. 

So, life is more quiet for me now than ever before, and I really like it.  I have extra time to spend alone, which I need and cherish, and all the activity I can handle by being back in school full time.   I hope I don't jinx it by writing these things "out loud," but maybe for the first time in my adult life I'm experiencing some balance.  One of the funny results of this balance is a better knowing of what my voice is doing and how it feels, which takes a surprising amount of sensitivity and attention.  As a jazz singer I just always opened my mouth and sang, paying attention to all aspects of the rhythm and music and hardly any mind to what my voice was telling me.  And lo and behold, to listen to my voice I actually need to shut up and be quiet.  Funny.  I need quiet in order to listen to my voice. You would think it might be the other way around: make more noise so that you can hear yourself. 

Maybe life won't always be this way, and maybe things seem quiet now because I am more still on the inside.  All I know is that the connection to whatever spirit gives rise to my voice only happens in spaces of ease and often solitude.  I don't just like my quiet life, I love it.

Colored By How We Feel

Today I feel better than I did three days ago.  And, guess what, I also had a "better" day.  Today I got to hear amazing singers, learn about vocal function, spend time with new friends, be mentored and be a mentor.  It was a special day.  But, everyday lately has these elements, or at least most of them, and yet I experience each day so very differently.  Emotions, energy in motion in the body, dictate how these experiences are processed and perceived to a degree that actually frightens me sometimes. 

As a performer who feels emotions larger than the typical office worker, it is important to understand how our emotions color our world so that we are not flung far and wide by them.  Emotions are the reason we sing - to give expression to that BIG energy in our bodies and help others resonate to our "energy song."  We need music and the voice to help the world access dormant emotions and energetic experience that the average person cannot tap into unaided.  When we understand that our emotions are not the whole picture, though, we can make better judgements about what might actually be happening around us on a daily basis.

I believe in embracing emotion more than ever, and I also reserve the right to judge my perception of the world not on how my emotions color my view, but on what is true - which is that everything is always ok, that I am always exactly where I should be, and that love is all there really is.  Knowing how to direct emotion, now, there's an entirely different subject matter.  For now, I am grateful for music as a vehicle to get all that energy out.

May you be blessed today and a little better able to see not only through the lens of how you feel, but by what is and will always be true.